The pressure is real. A sibling is unhappy. They want to talk. Maybe they have a proposal, a swap, an adjustment, a side agreement. They just want it handled quietly.
And part of you thinks: maybe this is the sensible way to sort it out.
This instinct, while understandable, is one of the more dangerous ones an executor can act on.
Why Informal Negotiations Create Problems
When an executor enters into informal negotiations with a beneficiary, several risks emerge simultaneously:
Validity risk: Any informal agreement that departs from the terms of the will is legally problematic. You do not have the authority to unilaterally change the distribution.
Enforceability risk: Informal agreements between family members about estate distributions are frequently unenforceable.
Liability risk: If other beneficiaries discover you reached an informal arrangement with one beneficiary, they may have grounds to claim you acted improperly.
Evidence risk: Whatever is discussed informally, promises made, flexibility suggested, becomes part of the record if those conversations are later disputed.
The Difference Between Communication and Negotiation
Communication with beneficiaries, keeping them updated, answering legitimate questions, providing formal information about their entitlements, is appropriate and necessary.
Negotiation about the terms of the distribution, entertaining proposals to change what the will provides, making informal promises about additional consideration, is outside your authority as executor.
What to Do Instead
When a beneficiary pushes for something outside the terms of the will, the appropriate response is:
- Acknowledge that you have heard their concern
- Confirm that your obligation is to administer the estate in accordance with the will
- Direct them to formal legal channels if they wish to pursue a different outcome
- Decline to discuss the substance of proposed variations yourself
If there is a genuine legal basis for a variation — such as a deed of family arrangement agreed by all beneficiaries — that should be managed formally, with legal advice, not informally between siblings.
Conclusion
Informal negotiations feel like a path to resolution. They are often a path to a more complicated problem.
Your role as executor comes with clear obligations, and clear limits on your authority.
At Fennelly Legal, we help executors understand the boundaries of their role and handle beneficiary pressure professionally. Contact Fennelly Legal today.
Please Contact us to book a free chat (03) 5243 1959.
Stuart Day
Fennelly Legal