It is painful to receive less than a sibling. It is more painful when you don’t understand why.
In the absence of explanation, families fill the gap with theories: manipulation, changed circumstances, estrangement, cognitive decline. Sometimes these theories are right. More often, they reflect a misunderstanding of what estate planning actually involves — and the considered choices most people make when they do it properly.
Estate Planning Is Not Just About Division
Thoughtful estate planning accounts for an entire lifetime of financial history with each child — not just the relationship at the moment of death.
Common Reasons for Deliberate Unequal Distributions
Financial equalisation: If one child received a significant financial leg up during the parent’s lifetime — a down payment on a house, a business loan, financial support through a hard period — the parent may have reduced that child’s inheritance to equalise what each child received over their lifetime.
Contribution recognition: One child may have provided years of care, administrative support, or proximity during the parent’s illness. The will may reflect gratitude and recognition of that contribution.
Different financial circumstances: A parent may have assessed that one child is financially secure and another is struggling, and adjusted their distribution accordingly.
Estrangement: A parent may have had a fractured relationship with one child and chosen to reflect that in the will.
Prior gifts: The parent may have already transferred significant value to one child and calculated that this was accounted for in the will.
What This Means for You as Executor
When you are administering an estate with an unequal distribution, you are almost certainly implementing a considered decision — not correcting a mistake.
Your role is not to reconstruct the deceased’s intentions, justify their choices, or act as their posthumous spokesperson. Your role is to follow the will.
What This Means for Beneficiaries
If you are a beneficiary who received less than expected, the most important question to ask is: do I actually know the full financial history? Beneficiaries who feel shortchanged are often unaware of gifts, loans, or other transfers their sibling received during the parent’s lifetime.
A legal challenge based on incomplete information is expensive, difficult to win, and permanently damaging to family relationships.
Conclusion
Unequal wills are usually not accidents. They are choices — often careful, considered, and financially informed.
As executor, understanding this grounds you in the reality of what you are administering — and gives you a framework for responding to challenges with calm authority rather than defensive explanation.
At Fennelly Legal, we help executors understand the context behind the estates they administer and hold their position professionally throughout the process. Reach out to Fennelly Legal today.
Please Contact us to book a free chat (03) 5243 1959.
Stuart Day
Fennelly Legal